Shapes Character
We live in a world where it seems like taking responsibility is an Olympic sport—and not because everyone’s doing it, but because so few are even willing to try. Accountability has become that one task nobody wants on their to-do list, and let’s be real, watching people dodge their responsibilities is like watching a bad game of dodgeball. You see it coming, and it’s just sad when they don’t even bother to put their hands up.
But here’s the thing: accountability is not a weakness. In fact, it’s the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. Taking responsibility for your actions doesn’t just shape who you are; it shapes the people around you and, most importantly, your character. So, buckle up and let’s talk about why being accountable is more than just doing the right thing—it’s doing the real thing.
Self-Awareness: The Mirror No One Wants to Look At
First things first, accountability starts with one of the hardest tasks: self-awareness. Yeah, I know, looking in the mirror is tough, especially when it’s not about how you look but who you are. It’s easy to point fingers at others when things go south, but true growth comes from owning your role in the mess. And if you’ve ever noticed when you point a finger, three are pointing right back at you. That’s the universe’s not-so-subtle way of reminding us that we usually play a bigger part in the problem than we’d like to admit. As Moore and Gillette (1991) mention in King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, "the mature man takes responsibility for his actions, understanding that his failures and successes are tied to his personal growth" (p. 88). There’s power in knowing where you messed up because that’s when you can start fixing it.
It’s like when I realized I had spent most of my life living up to labels that didn’t belong to me—ones that people put on me based on their expectations. Accountability meant stripping those away and owning who I really am, not who others think I should be. That’s warrior shit.
Owning Your Mistakes: The Ultimate Power Move
Here’s the deal: people often see admitting mistakes as a sign of weakness, but the reality is, it’s the ultimate power move. Think about it: the moment you say, "Yeah, that’s on me," you’ve taken the power away from everyone else. No one can hold it over you anymore. According to Beaton (2020), “acknowledging our own shortcomings allows us to step out of the victim mentality and embrace personal freedom” (p. 42). There’s nothing more freeing than looking someone in the eye and owning your stuff.
I’ve spent a lot of time trying to live up to false labels, and taking responsibility for that was hard. But the day I decided to remove those labels, I started living for myself, not for anyone else. There’s nothing weak about that—there’s strength in embracing your mess and making it work for you.
The Ripple Effect: How Accountability Changes the Game
When you take responsibility, it’s not just about you—it’s about everyone around you. Accountability sets the tone for the people in your life. As I’ve seen in the Fathership Program, when one man steps up and owns his actions, it creates a ripple effect that changes families, communities, and even future generations. Garraway (2018) talks about how “accountability is a cornerstone of emotional maturity and sets a powerful example for those who look to you for leadership” (p. 97). Imagine how different our world would look if more people just said, “Yep, I did that.”
Facing the Consequences: The Real Growth Happens Here
Accountability isn’t just about admitting you screwed up—it’s about facing the consequences that come with it. You don’t just say, “My bad,” and move on. You sit with the discomfort of knowing you messed up and figure out how to make it right. That’s where real character is built. As Frankl (1946) discusses in Man’s Search for Meaning, suffering and hardship, when approached with responsibility, can lead to a profound sense of purpose and growth. We don’t grow when things are easy; we grow when we face the consequences and choose to rise anyway.
Accountability in Leadership: Own It or Lose It
If you’re in any position of leadership—whether in your family, your work, or your community—accountability is non-negotiable. People don’t respect leaders who pass the buck. They follow those who stand in the fire and take the heat. As I learned during our family meetings, being the leader means owning the role and the responsibilities that come with it. My family looks to me to set the tone, and if I’m not accountable, how can I expect them to be?
Conclusion: Own Your Life, Don’t Let It Own You
At the end of the day, accountability is about freedom. When you take responsibility, you free yourself from excuses, blame, and guilt. You step into your power. And that, my friends, is how you shape your character. Accountability isn’t rocket science—it’s just the thing most people are too afraid to do.
So, let’s embrace it. It’s not just about doing the right thing. It’s about doing the real thing. Own it, live it, and watch how it changes your life.
Work Cited
Beaton, C. (2020). Men’s work: A practical guide to face your darkness, end self-sabotage & find freedom. Wiley Publishing.Frankl, V. E. (1946). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press.Garraway, R. (2018). Resilient man: Conquer self-sabotage and embrace emotional vulnerability. Pathways Publishing.Moore, R., & Gillette, D. (1991). King, warrior, magician, lover: Rediscovering the archetypes of the mature masculine. HarperCollins.
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