Fighting the Lies in Your Head (Like a Grown Man with a Nerf Sword)

Let’s talk about that voice in your head.

You know the one. The one that shows up when you’re alone, when the bills are due, when your plan didn’t work out, or when you’re just trying to eat your cereal in peace.

It says things like:

• “No one really cares about you.”

• “You’re falling behind.”

• “You’ll never hit your goals—might as well give up now.”

Yeah. That voice. Mine usually shows up when I’m already tired or stressed. It doesn’t fight fair.

But here’s the deal—just because that voice is loud doesn’t mean it’s true. That voice is not the truth-teller. It’s just a broken record from old pain, fear, or maybe a parent, teacher, or ex who got in your head back in the day.

The truth? You’re still here. And you’ve still got fight in you.

1. Catch the Lie Before It Moves In

That negative voice is slick. It doesn’t show up in full costume, yelling “You’re worthless!” Nah. It slides in quietly. It says things like, “Nobody notices you,” or “You’ll never change,” like it’s just stating facts.

The first move is to notice it. Pause. Call it out.

“I’m having the thought that I’m alone. But that’s a thought—not a fact.”

You just created space between you and the lie. That’s power, my friend.

2. Challenge It Like a Man Who Pays Rent and Has Receipts

Let’s say that voice says, “No one cares about you.”

Really? No one? That friend who texted you last week? The barista who knows your name? The guy in your men's group who always gives you a nod of respect?

You’ve got people. You’ve had moments. You’ve made an impact.

You may not always feel it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real. We don’t base reality on emotions—we base it on evidence.

3. Replace It with Something Real (Not Just Instagram Positivity)

Look, you don’t need to lie to yourself with some cheesy affirmation you don’t believe. But you do need a replacement thought that’s grounded and honest.

Try this:

“Right now I feel discouraged, but that doesn’t mean I’m defeated. I’ve come through worse. I’m still moving.”

Or:

“It feels like no one sees me, but I’ve got value even when I’m not being noticed. I’m working on things that matter.”

Speak truth. Not fluff. Not hype. Truth.

4. Do Something Small That Moves You Forward

Sometimes the best way to shut that voice down is to take action. And no, I’m not saying run a marathon or launch a business by midnight.

Do something small—but intentional:

• Call or text someone just to check in.

• Go for a walk. Stretch. Breathe.

• Write one sentence about what kind of man you want to be.

Every time you take a step—even a small one—you prove that voice wrong. You show up. You reclaim your mind.

5. Stop Trying to Lone-Wolf Your Way Through Life

This message is for all men—whether you're a dad, an uncle, a mentor, or just trying to figure out who you are right now.

We’re not meant to do this alone.

We’re not wired to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders in silence. You need connection. Brotherhood. Spaces where you don’t have to fake it, where you can say “I’m struggling today” without anyone handing you shame.

That’s what the Fathership Program is about. Not just being a father—but being a whole man. A present man. A man who gets back up, even after life knocks him down.

Final Thought: You Are Not the Voice in Your Head

You are not the thought that says you're too far gone.You are not the feeling that says you're invisible.You are not the fear that says your dreams are too big.

You are you—resilient, growing, messy, and still in the fight.

So next time that voice starts talking trash, pick up your metaphorical Nerf sword (or real one—I won’t judge), and say:

“Thanks for your opinion, brain, but I’ve got bigger things to do. This story isn’t over—and I’m the one writing it.”

Keep going. We see you. We’re with you.

—Todd ThomasFathership Program Inc. | For Men Who Want to Lead, Love, and Live Better—One Step at a Time.