🪓 Unlocking the Wild Man Within: Why Every Man Needs to Meet His Inner Wolf By Todd Thomas | Fathership Program Inc.

Fathership Program
Oct 12
3 min read

Somewhere inside every man is a Wild Man...bearded, barefoot, and battle-tested. He’s been silenced, starved, and shoved deep down under bills, expectations, and emotional constipation. But he’s still there. And if you're reading this, you might be hearing his howl.

I sure did.

Reading Iron John by Robert Bly cracked open a part of me I didn’t know was still locked away. And trust me, I’ve done the work. Sat in circles. Prayed with warriors. Started a nonprofit. Raised kids and grandkids. But the Wild Man? That’s a different animal.

🧔🏽‍♂️ Who Is the Wild Man?

He’s the one who says what you’re too polite to say. He’s not toxic, he’s just honest. He’s the instinct that tells you to protect, to create, to destroy when necessary. The part of you that knew how to climb before you were taught to sit still. The part that dances in the fire, not because he’s reckless, but because he remembers how to move.

Bly calls him out of the cage society put him in. You know that cage: "Real men don't cry," "Get a job, not a dream," "Act right or you're a threat."

The Wild Man says: Nah, I'm gonna feel it all. I'm gonna be real. I'm gonna burn the rulebook and write my own damn story.

🪞 Why Finding Him Matters

The Wild Man isn’t about chaos, it’s about wholeness. You can’t access deep wisdom without going through the forest first. And yes, the forest is dark. Yes, you’ll get cut. You might cry in front of other men (gasp). You might hug someone without needing a beer first. You might scream, rage, dance, howl, and come out reborn.

Finding your Wild Man means:

Facing your wounds without hiding behind sarcasm or silence.
Letting go of the good boy mask—because the Wild Man doesn’t need permission.
Becoming emotionally dangerous in the best way: calm, grounded, and immovable.

👣 My Journey to Him

When I launched Fathership Program Inc., I wasn’t just creating a space for men to "deal with anger" or learn to regulate emotions. I was building a bridge back to our instincts. I wanted men to remember who they were before trauma, shame, or the system neutered their spirit.

That’s what Empowered Calm is about. That’s what we tap into when we facilitate the Fatherhood is Sacred® program (a powerful trademarked curriculum developed by the Native American Fatherhood and Families Association). It’s what this blog is about, too.

You can’t lead your family if you’re still at war with yourself. You can’t hold your woman or your child if your hands are still clenched into fists. You can’t change the world if you’ve never met the version of you that was born to do it.

🐺 How to Start the Hunt

Want to meet your Wild Man? Here's where you begin:

Read Iron John by Robert Bly – but don’t just read it. Sit with it. Let it gut-punch you.
Get around other men doing the work. Not talkers—doers. Fathership has a seat for you.
Go outside. The Wild Man doesn’t live in strip malls. He lives in dirt, fire, and wind.
Get uncomfortable. Vulnerability is your new gym. Push weight. Push emotions. Push through.
Come back to the pack. As my Sacred Sons brother Philip Folsom said: “The lone wolf starves.”

🛠 The Fathership Program: Home of the Wild Man

At Fathership Program Inc., we’re not here to fix you. We’re here to remind you who you were before the world told you who to be. We believe in men doing real work, emotional, spiritual, physical, because nothing changes until we change.

We're not trying to tame you. We're trying to awaken you.

So yeah, forget what they told you about being soft. Healing doesn’t make you soft, it makes you dangerous. In a good way.