We live in a world full of opinions. Everybody’s got one, right? What others think of us, say about us, or expect from us can feel overwhelming. But here’s the kicker—none of those people should hold the pen that writes our story. Only you get to decide who you are. It’s time to take back the pen and start writing the narrative that reflects your truth.
Why We Let Others Define Us
This starts early in life. Parents, teachers, society—everyone has an idea of what you should be. People love slapping labels on you, often without understanding who you are. It’s easy to internalize those labels, though, and before you know it, you’re living according to a script someone else wrote. You’re not smart enough, you’re not tough enough, or you’ll never make it. Those are just a few of the lies we start to believe if we aren’t careful (Beaton, 2021). And let’s be real, when you repeat something to yourself enough, it becomes your truth—even when it’s false.
Taking Back the Pen
Recognizing when someone else is controlling your narrative is the first step. Is it your boss? A family member? Or maybe it’s society trying to box you in. I’ve been there myself. It might feel easier to go along with what people expect, but that’s no way to live. Start by asking: Whose story am I living? If the answer isn’t yours, it's time to change course (Hollis, 1996).
Breaking Free from Expectations
I spent a good chunk of my life living up to what other people thought I should be. Whether it was my parents, teachers, or even friends, everyone had an idea of what was “best” for me. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. At some point, you have to realize that advice is just that—advice. It doesn’t mean you have to follow it if it doesn’t fit your vision of who you are or what you want out of life (Frankl, 2006). It’s okay to filter out the noise.
How You’re Perceived Isn’t Who You Are
Here’s the truth bomb: how people see you doesn’t define who you are. People are going to judge you based on their biases, experiences, and preconceived notions. But their perception of you? That’s their problem, not yours. It took me years to realize this, but once I did, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. You’re not defined by someone else’s fleeting judgment—you’re defined by the story you choose to write (Moore & Gillette, 1990).
Be the Hero, Not the Victim
When you let others control your story, it’s easy to slip into a victim mentality. Everything seems like it’s happening to you instead of you taking charge. But here’s the thing: heroes aren’t just characters in some mythical tale. Heroes are the ones who take control of their narrative. They face adversity and chart their own path forward (Vasquez, 2019).
So, why let anyone else tell you who you are or where you’re going? You’re the hero of this story. It’s time to act like it.
Conclusion: Your Story, Your Power
At the end of the day, no one else is living your life but you. So why let anyone else decide how that life looks? Stand up, take control, and start writing your story the way you want it to be. You hold the pen, and you always have. Now’s the time to use it.
Works Cited
Beaton, C. (2021). Men’s work: A practical guide to face your darkness, end self-sabotage, & find freedom. Simon & Schuster.
Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press.
Hollis, J. (1996). Under Saturn’s shadow: The wounding and healing of men. Inner City Books.
Moore, R., & Gillette, D. (1990). King, warrior, magician, lover: Rediscovering the archetypes of the mature masculine. HarperOne.
Vasquez, J. (2019). Emotional intelligence groundwork: Build a resilient mindset and conquer self-sabotage. Mindfulness Press.
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