Ever feel like your life is being directed by someone else, like you’re just a background character in the movie that’s supposed to be your story? Yeah, me too. It’s wild how often we let other people grab the pen and start scripting our lives, as if we don’t have a say in it. But here’s the deal: we can take the pen back. In fact, we must.
The Power of Perception—It Ain’t You
One of the biggest lies people fall for is that other people's perceptions of them are the truth. Spoiler alert: it’s not. How people perceive you is a reflection of their own insecurities, biases, and experiences. It’s like looking in a funhouse mirror and believing that’s what you actually look like. Imagine trying to build a life based on that warped image. It’s exhausting, right?
Viktor Frankl (2006) nailed it when he said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” (p. 115). Frankl wasn’t talking about conforming to someone else’s idea of who we should be; he was saying that we need to reclaim our own narrative and grow through it. You don’t have to be what others expect you to be. You are the author of your own story. Period.
The Lone Wolf Myth—Time to Throw It Out
For years, we’ve been sold this Lone Wolf nonsense. Movies, books, even culture—it’s all glorified the man who stands alone against the world, taking punches and somehow still winning. Reality check: that’s Hollywood’s bad storytelling. No one succeeds entirely on their own. Philip Folsom said it best, “The time of the lone wolf is over.” We need connection to thrive (Folsom, 2020). Reclaiming your story isn’t about isolating yourself from others. It’s about surrounding yourself with the right people who empower you, not limit you. Be selective with your tribe—your narrative is too precious to hand over to anyone who doesn’t understand its value.
Rewrite It for You, By You
So how do you reclaim your story? First, stop waiting for permission. Society loves to hand out labels like it’s Oprah giving away cars: “You get a label! And you get a label!” But you don’t have to accept them. Second, write your own ending. Just because you’ve played a certain role up until now doesn’t mean that’s your destiny. You’re allowed to pivot, evolve, and redefine yourself. Actually, it’s necessary for growth. As Connor Beaton (2021) explains, personal evolution is a continuous process of shedding old skin, addressing your shadows, and consciously choosing who you become (p. 36).
Ultimately, your narrative belongs to you, not your boss, your parents, your partner, or the random internet troll who thinks they know your life better than you do. When we take responsibility for our own story, we take back the power to shape it how we see fit. So, who’s holding the pen right now—someone else or you?
Work Cited
Beaton, C. (2021). Men's Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage & Find Freedom. Hay House.
Folsom, P. (2020). The time of the lone wolf is over. [Speech transcript].
Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man's search for meaning. Beacon Press.
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