Let’s be honest—labels suck. Society loves to throw them around like confetti at a wedding, except instead of joy and celebration, these labels are more like a punch in the gut. We’re all familiar with it. “The quiet one,” “the black sheep,” “the rebel,” or my personal favorite, “the one who will never amount to much.” The world has no shortage of sticky labels ready to slap on your forehead.
And here's the kicker—sometimes, it's not just society doing it. Sometimes the people closest to you—the ones who supposedly know you best—are the ones sticking the most damaging labels on you. They think they’re helping, or maybe they don’t realize they’re doing it, but their version of who you are is often a reflection of who they need you to be, not who you actually are.
I’ve worn a few of these labels—some handed out by strangers, some by people who love me, and some I stuck on myself. It’s funny, though. When the people you love slap a label on you, it sticks even harder. You start thinking, “Well, they know me best, so they must be right.” Spoiler alert: They’re not. Whether it’s “the troublemaker,” “the responsible one,” or even “the successful one,” those labels are more about their ideal version of you than who you truly are.
I spent most of my life trying to live up to those labels—good, bad, or indifferent. I bent over backward to be the person they thought I should be. And in the end? None of those labels were real. They were reflections of the people putting them on me, not who I actually am. It took me a long time to realize that just because someone loves you doesn’t mean they fully understand you.
But here’s the hard truth: it doesn’t matter how close someone is to you—whether it’s family, a spouse, or a best friend—if their label for you doesn’t align with your truth, you need to throw that label out the window. Because at the end of the day, the only person who really knows you is you.
Fighting those labels wasn’t easy. I had to challenge the belief that I was who they said I was, even when those labels came from people I trusted. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) suggests that the way we think impacts how we feel and behave (Beck, 1979). So, I flipped the script. If I could change how I saw myself, then maybe—just maybe—I could break free from the expectations others had placed on me, even the ones closest to me.
Once I decided to live according to my truth rather than their labels, everything changed. But let me tell you, it wasn’t a smooth ride. People don’t like it when you stop living up to their expectations. They get uncomfortable. They might push back. But here’s the thing: their discomfort isn’t your responsibility.
The truth is, the world will keep throwing labels at you, and the closer the person, the more it might sting. But you are not the sum of their low—or even high—expectations. You are the one who gets to define your story. And let’s be real—if I can shake off decades of BS labels, especially the ones from people who were supposed to have my back, then you can shake off whatever labels they’ve got for you too.
Work Cited
Beck, A. T. (1979). Cognitive therapy of depression. Guilford Press.
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