You Are Not Your Mistakes (Even the Ugly Ones) By Todd Thomas | Fathership Program Inc

Let’s get this out of the way real quick: You’ve messed up. I’ve messed up. Every man I’ve ever met has a pile of shit behind him that he’d rather not talk about.

Some of it’s minor—lies you told, people you ghosted, promises you broke. And some of it? Well... some of it still haunts you when the house is quiet. That mistake you swore you’d never make. That thing you did that you said you’d never become.

Yeah. That one.

Now here’s the truth you probably don’t want to hear, but need to: You are not your mistakes. Even the ugly ones.

🧠 You Can’t Heal What You Keep Hating

Men are damn good at punishment. We beat ourselves up in ways no one else even sees. Silent shame. Self-sabotage. Convincing ourselves we’re unworthy of love, peace, or a second chance.

But you can’t build a better version of yourself while hating the man you’re trying to fix. You’ve got to own your past—not become it.

That means sitting with it, yes. But also learning from it. That’s the difference between guilt and growth.

🔥 Your Rock Bottom Isn’t Your Tombstone

Let me be clear: This isn’t a pass. This isn’t me saying your actions don’t have consequences. They do. They always do.

But you know what else they can have? Meaning.

If you’ve been through hell, then you’ve got the blueprint for helping someone else through it. That’s what Fathership Program is built on. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I’ve said things that hurt people I love. But that pain—that experience—that lesson? That became my mission.

You can either carry your mistakes like a coffin on your back…Or build a foundation with them and stand the hell up.

🛠 Redemption is a Daily Grind

There’s no magic moment when you’re “forgiven” and everything’s better. There’s just showing up. Again. And again. And again.

• Apologize.

• Make it right where you can.

• Set boundaries.

• Break cycles.

• Learn your damn triggers.

• And forgive yourself like your life depends on it—because it does.

Nobody ever told us that redemption isn’t a one-time thing. It’s daily work. It’s walking it out. And yeah—it’s warrior shit.

🧍‍♂️If You're Still Here, You're Not Done

You’re still breathing? Still trying? Then don’t you dare write yourself off.

You’re not broken You’re becoming.

Whatever you did, whatever label the world (or you) tried to slap on yourself—You’re not that.

You’re what you choose to become next.

And if you need help with that choice, that rebuild, that healing—You already know where to find us.